Come On, Live Dangerously
by takenmysanity
Summary: This is how I see Eli and Clare in my head. &its taken a turn to how I originally planned for it to go..but ohh well..i like it.
1. Caught

(title credit, Karen)

(story ideas, credit too Brookieee)  
-my story, is very uhh, mature..if you will..

Chapter 1

**Eli's POV**

"Clare!" I yelled to her from outside her window. Thank god her parents werent home, I would have flipped a bitch!

Clare walked over to her open window and looked down at me. God, she was beautiful. Her bright blue eyes smiled at me.  
"Eli! What are you doing here, at.." -she turned to look at the time.. "6 am!"

"I'm here..too..uhh ...take you somewhere.." " said with a smirk that made everyone weak in the knees. Clare look confused..GOOD!

**Clare's POV  
**

_Why was he here? At 6 am? Wanting to take me.. 'somewhere'?_

Somewhere..for Eli..usually ment..his house..or some 'top secret' -but not so secret palce.

"Give me 20 minutes." I yelled down to him. "How about coming inside."

Eli smirked at me, which caused instant butterflies, "Alright Clare-bear..come let me in."

I walked downstairs to let him in, and i realized..i was in my pajamas..or lack there of..  
-A very, uhh revealing tank-top, and shorts.. I decied NOT to change, I mean its just Eli..

_Eli, Elijah Goldsworthy. They guy that i was really diggin. Hes hot, dark, mysterious.._

**Eli's POV**

The door opened, and there she was. Clare Edwards. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster.

_ could this girl, this one girl..make me so..mushy, and good feeling inside. _

"Good morning Eli." she said as i walked into her house.

"Clare.." I said to her, realizing what she was wearing..turned me on.. "you do realize, your barely wearing anything?"

"Yes, i do." she said back to me. "Why, does it bother you?"

"No, not at all.." i said lying straight to her face. When, clearly..you could tell...I was extremely..HOT!

"Just, wait here..sit on the couch or something." she said to me walking toward the stairs.

I couldnt do this, so i followed her.. She knew i was one step behind her, so she turned around..  
"ELI!" she screamed. "Yes Clare.." i said smiling looking up to met her eyes.  
"And just what do you think your doing!" she asked with her hands on her hips.

"I..uhh..well Clare..i was following you..im not going to lie. You look HOT AS FUCK!"

_Did i really just tell her that? FUCK! i did!_

"ELI! Such a bold choice of words!" she said, smiling at me. "Let me guess, your NOT going to stay on the couch?"

I shook my head, still in awe of how she looked. We got up the stairs, to her room. She told me to sit on her bed, and wait.

I kept looking around trying to figure out what in the world she does to occupy her time.

I glanced over to her computer, noticing her wallpaper. It was the picture that Adam took of me and her when we worked on or English project.  
_Why does she have a picture of me and her kissing set as her wallpaper? _I got up to look at it closer. I remembered that day very well.  
As I was finishing looking at the picture, I heard her door slam. "ELI!" Clare shreiked.  
FUCK! She caught me.


	2. Passion and Desire

(title credit, Karen)

(story ideas, credit too Brookieee)  
-my story, is very uhh, mature..if you will..

-fact: mainly Eli's POV-

Chapter 2

**Clare's POV**

_OHHMYYGODD! He saw it. How could h ave been so stupid!_

"ELI!" I yelled at him. "What are you doing!"  
Eli looked up at me, scared out of his mind. I could tell he was beyond embarassed.  
"I was..uhh..FUCK IT..i wanted to see that picture." he said.

I went to sit on my bed, and i tould Eli to come sit next to me.  
"Eli, we really need to talk." I told him. 

**Eli's POV**

_Ohh no, shes going to tell me how much of a horrible person I was. I knew it._

I knew how i felt about Clare, but I couldnt get close to her. I wanted to, but I didnt want to hurt her.

I remember the day we met, too bad i had to run over her glasses for me to notice her amazing blue eyes.

When I looked into her eyes that day, I knew i wanted her to be mine. And from the look on her face, the feeling was mutual.

"Clare, im so sorry. I should have stayed out of your business." I felt like such a fucking failure.

"Eli, its okay. I dont mind..but we really should talk about this." she said.  
"Clare, before you say anything..I just want you to kno-" she cut me off there..  
"Eli, I think im in love with you." I was shocked!

_WAIT! NO! Im in love with her, and shes in love with me.. Coud she read my mind?_

"Cl-Clare, are you messing with me!" i asked.. She shook her head no.  
We talked for what seemed like FOREVER!

It was around 8 pm, and her mom had called..telling her she wasnt goin to be home for a few days.  
Clare looked at me, **STILL** in her barely anything pajamas.. "Eli, do you mind staying here? My mom wont be home for a few days, so it will get pretty lonely."

"Sure Clare, as long as you dont mind me being here." _WOW! What a stupid thing to say, she just told me she was in love with me, so why would she mind!_

_GODDAMN ELI! pull it together man!_

"Of course I dont mind Eli." She was so beautiful, the most perfect human being I had ever seen.

It was around 10 now, and Clare decided we were going to lay down and watch a movie. Yes, CLARE DECIDED!  
But, I didnt mind. As long as I was with her, I didnt care what we did.

_OK, Eli..your lying to yourself. Your a guy, and you have needs. You know you want Clare.  
_Why was my mind telling me all this? I knew it was all true, but I didnt need my mind to remind me.  
Clare was to perfect, to innocent to give in to me.  
_or so i though..._

We were half way through the movie and Clare got closer to me. She was practicially laying on me.  
Clare looked up at me, and I looked down at her.

"Eli, I love you." she whispered to me. "I love you too." I said back.

_And for the first time, in a long time.. I truely ment it._

I leaned down to kiss her, and she didnt pull back.

I was kissing her softly, getting more passionate little by little. I had felt a tug on my shirt.  
_Hey dumbass, that means take it off._

I broke from the kiss, and pulled my shirt over my head, throwing it on her floor.

She looked at me in amazement. She was turning bright red.

_Clare Edwards; blushing because i took my shirt off. Am I really that deeeeeelicious!  
Im Eli Goldswrithy, of course. IM FUCKING KICKASS!_

We were back to kissing, but instead of softly, it was with passion and lust.

Clare stopped me, leaning over to her table beside her bed. She pulled out handcuffs...

_KINKY! Saint Clare has handcuffs beside her bed._

"Clare, uhh why do you ha-" Again, she cuts me off. GREAT!  
"Eli, I want this. Im all yours." she said to me, very seductively.

By now, all the clothes were off. I was looking into her eyes, making sure she really wanted this.  
She didnt look nervous or scared or anything.

I took the hadcuffs, locked up her wrists to her bed, and started kissing her again.  
_Clare likes vampires, right? Yeah, she does.._

I slowly moved down her neck, finding the right spot. When she let out a tiny noise, i bit her neck.

"OHHMYYGODD! ELI!" she yelled, not in pain, more like pleasure.  
"Eli, NOW! I cant wait any longer. I want you, and you want me."  
I VERY QUICKLY obeyed what she wished.  
_Ohh FUCK, me and Clare are fucking! YESS! _

I started out slowly, so i wouldnt hurt her. I came up to kiss her, and she had broke from the handcuffs, grabbing my neck.  
"ELI! OHH FUCK!" Clare, said FUCK! I could tell she was enjoying this, about as much as I was.  
We flipped over and Clare had pulled out duck tape, putting a piece over my mouth..

_What the fuck is she doing to me? Im not sure if I should be scared, or extremely turned on. -OK FUCK IT, IM BEYOND TURNED ON!_

She ripped the duck tape off my mouth, "CLARE!" I yelled.  
She fells beside me, trying to catch her breath.  
"Eli, you are amazing! I love you." she said looking up at me.

"I love you too, Clare. Now lets go to sleep."  
I leaned down to kiss her, and that lasted for a while, like 10 minutes maybe..Then she rolled over, and drifted off to sleep.  
I leaned over her to see if she was asleep, kiss her cheek, "I love you, girlfriend." I whispered in her ear._  
_


	3. Questioning

(title credit, Karen)

(story ideas, credit too Brookieee)  
-my story, is very uhh, mature..if you will..

Chapter 3

**Eli's POV**

It was around 2 am, and I was somewhat very confused.  
_Why am I in Clares bed? No clothes? Why were they on the floor?_

Then I remembered, me and Clare..we had sex.

Something was ringin so I looked to see what it was, it was Clares phone.  
I quickly woke her up, and it was her mom.  
I sat up trying to put all my clothes back on, but i was interrupted by Clare..so forcefully pulling me back down.

_What in the hell is she doing? What did her mom say?_

Clare was kissing me, like before..running her hand up my chest.  
"Clare, are you okay?" I broke from the kiss to ask her.  
"Yeah Eli, why wouldnt i be okay?" she looked at me and said, trying to catch her breath.  
"Well, what did your mom say?" I asked her.

Clare was moving down the lenght of my body, so I didnt get an answer.  
When she decided to come back up, she answered, "She said she wasnt coming home. Ever."  
She started kissing my neck, and I loved every mintue of it.  
"Eli.." she said.. " lets have some fun, okay?"  
I looked at her knowing exactly what she ment. I smirked then flipped her back over so I was on top of her.

I started kissing her down her neck, slowly reaching her chest. I could hear her heart beating faster and faster.  
"Eli, stop wasting time..I dont want it to be like last time..not saying that last time wasnt amayzing, but this time  
I want it to be hardcore, and again..do what you will.." she said waiting for me to do something.

"Clare, are you 100% sure?" I asked one last time. She shook her head yes.

I pinned her arms down to the bed so she couldnt move. I ran my mouth from hers down her neck, finally reaching her stomach.  
She was still breathing as hard as she possibly could. I looked into her eyes, again..to make sure she was okay.  
When she looked away, I went for it, as hard as i possibly could. "ELI!" Clare yelled out.  
I looked up at her, she was biting her lip. I could tell it hurt her, but at the same time, I could tell she really liked it.  
She looked beautiful still..though all sweaty and out fo breath. I was still going at her as hard as humanly possible.  
She grabbed my back and ran her nails down it. I could tell I was bleeding. Though it hurt, damn it felt good.

If i didnt love Clare before-which i did, I was madly in love with her now.

After about, 2 hours of intense..greatness, Clare went down to the kitcen to get a drink of water.  
I was laying there waiting for her, and all I could think was..

_Why is Clare so amazing? And shes mine? Yes! Of course dummy, shes yours._

**Clare's POV**

I was walking up the stairs from the kitchen, trying to wrap my mind around what had just happened.  
"Eli.." I said.."What now?"  
Eli looked at me with confusion. "What do you mean 'what now' Clare?"  
"Do you completely lose intrest in me, and ignore me? Or do we go on like before?" I asked worried of his answer.  
"Clare, how could you ask me a question like that. I would never ignore you. Things are still the same, just a little more.. intense" He smirked.

_Why must he smirk? Does he realize what it does to me? -Duhh Clare, thats why he does it._

"Eli, you do realize, everytime you smirk at me..I want you even more?"  
"Well Clare..I never really thought about that my love" He smirked again. He knew I couldnt hold out.

He motioned for me to come lay next to him, and of course i did. I couldnt even begin to explain how wonderful he was.

He was the most amazing, perfect person I had ever known. And the best part..he was all mine.

We layed there for about 20 minutes in total silence.  
Then Eli looked down at me and said "Clare, you know id do anything for you. I love you with all my heart."

_Yes, i knew all of this. Why was he reminding me? Not that i didnt enjoy hearing it.._

"Yes Eli, i know this. But why are you telling me?"

"Just maken sure you knew." He smiled and leaned farther down to kiss me.

"How about we acutally get some sleep this time?" I asked.  
"Sure, anything for you baby. Goodnight, I love you."  
"I love you too Eli." 


	4. Regret and Doubt

(title credit, Karen)

(story ideas, credit too Brookieee)  
-my story, is very uhh, mature..if you will..

Chapter 4

**Clare's POV**

It had been about a week now, since Eli and I's intense night. And i still remember it like it was yesterday.

The kinkiness, the lust, the passion. I wanted it all over again.

I hadnt heard from Eli all day, so I was begining to wonder what was going on.

I looked at my phone to see if i had any missed calls or text messges, and nothing.

**Eli's POV**

_Does she wonder why I havent called her? Texted her? Anything?_

"Eli man, are you okay?" Adam asked me. "Yeah Im fine. Im just thinking."

"Fuck Eli, thinking is for girls.." he said in disgust.

"That explains why you do alot of it then, right?"

_Ohh shit, did I really just say that? QUICK, take it back Eli!_

"Whoaa man, im sorry." "It's chill Eli." he assured me.  
My back pocket started vibrating, so i pulled my phone out to see what it was.  
-incoming call from Clare 3- "Hey baby." i quickly said.

"Eli, why havent i heard from you all day? I was starting to worry."

"No need to worry my love, Ive been with Adam."

"Alright, well..can you come hang out for a while?" she asked with hesatation.

"Yeah, sure..is everything alright?"

"Of course Eli, I just miss you. Thats all."

"Okay, Ill be there as soon as possible. I love you."

"I love you too."

**Clare's POV**

_Are you sure about this? Yes, you do love Eli, but are you making a mistake?_

Mistake? How could Eli and I being in love and showing it be a mistake?

Was I doing all this for the wrong reason? I dont have a wrong reason though

I knew I wanted Eli, and I knew Eli wanted me. So wheres the problem?

_Why do you keep putting yourself down Clare? Your 100% aware of what was going on._

_Am I over thinking this, like with everything else?_

*knocks at the doors*  
_Great!_


	5. Adam

(title credit, Karen)

(story ideas, credit too Brookieee)  
-my story, is very uhh, mature..if you will..

Chapter 5

**Eli's POV**

_What was wrong with her? She didnt sound ..okay._

I pulled up to Clares' house, dreading the outcome of it all.

Before I had time to knock on the door, it opened and Clare grabbed me by my shirt pulling me in.

"Why hello to you too Clare!" I smirked at her. "Are you-" She interrupted me with a kiss.

"Lets uhmm, go upstairs, okay?" she asked practicially dragging me up her stairs.

_WAIT! Just a few minutes ago she was all anxious and very worried sounding. What happened?_

We got up to her room, opened the door..and Clare, little miss Saint Clare, pushed me down to her bed.

Clare had decided to find a way to black out her room in the middle of the afternoon, so when she shut off the light, it was complete darkness.

_Kinky? No lights. Clare throwing me on her bed? I could get used to this._

I could hear Clare walking around her room, but I had no idea where she was.

As soon as I was about to freak out, Clare grabs my shirt, and completely years it off of me.

_Was this really going on? Well, yes..of course it was. But, why? Ohh shit Eli, are you having second thoughts now?_

There was no way in hell that I was going to let my mind overtake this. So, what more could I do then go along with it.

Clare had quickly switched on the light. When she came back over, I grabbed her shirt, ripped it off..and threw her on the bed.

She knew i wasnt tring to hurt her or anything, but I did it pretty hard.

Instead of making love, it was more like to animals attacking eachother.

Battling, trying to see who came out on top. Literally. And of course, as usual, the winner was me.

I guess it ahd got so out of control, the only think actually left on the bed, was Clare and myself.

_WOW! That was amazing! Clare seriously rocks my world._

We had been laying there, catching our breath when Clare looked over at me..

"Eli, you still love me right."

_SERIOUSLY! Shes questioning my feelings for her, again!_

"Of course Clare, you know I do. Why would you ask me a strange question like that?"

"I dont know. I just- I dont want all this to happen, then you get tired of me and leave."

She looked like she was about to cry.

"Clare, look at me.. I love you more than anyone in this entire world. And that is never going to change."

She kissed me and buried her head in my neck, slowly drifting off to sleep.

**Clare's POV**

_Clare, you stupid stupid girl. Why do you always question his feeling? You know he cares dearly for you._

I knew all this. But i had some bad feeling that it was all going to change.

I had went down to the kitchen to make breakfast, Eli still sleeping in my bed. STILL no clothes.

_Why is it he always ended up in my bed, with no clothes? It's better than the floor, I guess.._

Eli came walking down the stairs, only half of his clothes seemed to find their way back to his..perfect body.

When Im around him, Im like a little shy girl. Never know the right thing to say, a permanant smile on my face.

"Good morning dear." He smiled and walked over to kiss me.

"_Dear, _Its scary how formal we are."

"Really? I disagree." He smirked.

_That smirk. Why did he have it? Why did it make my heart skip a beat?  
_"Elijah, I really wish you would stop smirking at me."

"Why is that? Does it bother you. Make you want to fall to your knees?"

"Acutally, yes..it does." I assured him, my voice getting lower,breaking in and out.. out of my control as he got cloer to me.

He leaned down, kissing my neck..knowing I would fall helpless into his arms.

"Why dont we take this upstairs?" He grinned.

"Well, if we _**must**_ go upstairs."

**Eli's POV**

_I knew exactly how to get to her. Was there somthing special about me? That she couldnt help but fall for?_

"Eli, wait..I think we should do something a little more..productive today."  
"And why would we do that?" I asked trying to stop her from getting up.

"Well, when have we gone somewhere, been around other people?"

"Clare, I was with Adam yesterday. And why does it matter, as long as were with each other?"

"Well, I guess your right, but id like to do something. Why not take a walk? resh air could do us some good."

I wasnt to excited about this walk, but if its what Clare wanted..I guess I cld go.

We decided to go to the park, and just sit. But when we got there Adam was sitting on a bench. Yet, it didnt look like Adam.

"Adam, wheres your normal clothes. Why are you Gracie? And why are your clothes all ripped up?" I asked.

I was freaking out, Adam was my best friend. Girl, or guy..it didnt matter.  
Adam looked up at me and Clare, crying harder than I had ever seen.  
"Guys, something really bad happened last night."


	6. Tragic Scare

(title credit, Karen)

(story ideas, credit too Brookieee)  
-my story, is very uhh, mature..if you will..

Chapter 6

**Eli's POV**

_Ohh no! Why did I have a feeling this involved Owen and Fitz?_

"What happened?" Clare looked at Adam then turned to me, scared out of her mind.

Adam told us to sit, it was going to be a lot to explain.

"Well, last night..we had a family dinner. And my mom told me Gracie needed to be there. As always, I agreed so we wouldnt have to fight about it in front of my grandma.

Things were going well for about the first 30 minutes, but I came out and told my grandma about Adam. We were all yelling and screaming, so I got up and left.

I stormed out of the house, with out looking back. I came out here and Owen and Fitz were walking around. They came over to me, and started messing with me.

Owen asked me if Gracie was here to stay, and I told him no. Fitz punced me in the stomach and I fell to the ground. After that, all I remember was my pants being torn off and thrown."

Clare and I were freaking out. How could they do this?

"We have to tell someone Adam. We cant let them get away with this."

"No Eli, theres nothing we can do. Just leave it alone."

"FUCK NO! They are jerks, and they need to be put away or something!"

Adam kept shaking his head, but no matter what he said I wasnt changing my mind.

We walked to Clare's house, and I managed to call Drew.

When I told him, he came right over and picked Adam up. Clare and I went up to her room and had a long talk.

_Why must we always have these long talks. I always feel like Clare is giving up on me._

"Clare, why do we always have to talk? Are you trying to tell me something?"

"No, i just dont want you to loose intrest in me. Sex is all that ever goes on..not saying I dont enjoy it..bu-"

"Clare, really! We have this talk about every damn day! Do I really have to explain all this to you again?"

"No, i guess not..but it might make things a little different..for the time being that is..."

_I know how to get at this girl. Make her weak in the knees, fall to me. Its perfect._

So, if its my feeling for her she wants, thats exactly what she will get.

"Clare, I love you. I always will. Ill tell you every second of every day. You'll never forget it. You'll never be out of my reach."

She was easily losing breath, getting weak. It was the perfect moment.

_Come on Eli, man..your wimping out here. All this romantic bullshit, it's not you._

FUCK, I knew Clare would like all this romancticy type shit, but then again..she does like the hardcore sex even more.

Some how, with in that week, she managed to buy another pair of handcuffs..

_-Now I could just go "..." in place of all of these yummy deatils, but I cant do that. What kind of sick, twisted minded person would I, Elijah Goldsworthy, be if I did._

Short, no. Romantic, not even close. Passionate, very. Hardcore, to the extreme.

Clare and I, what we did..you cant call it sex. We were attacking each other. Simple as that.

Rolling around, messing up the whole room, tearing clothes, bleeding, hot and steamy. You would think someone was being violently murdered.

We had finally finished our violent attack, and I had remembered Adam. I couldnt let Fitz and Owen get away with this.

Clare knew I was going to find them. She told me to _try_ and not get hurt. What ever happened ..happened.

**Clare's POV**

I knew Eli ..as usual, was going to do something stupid. I wanted to stop him, but I knew anything I said to him would have no affect.

When he left, I layed in my bed, as still as possible. My room was a mess. How did it get so out of control?

I decided to clean up a tad. I was deffinately going to have to buy new sheets. Mine were stained red, and ripped to shreds.

About an hour later, my phone rang..but I didnt recognize the number. I picked up anyway..

"Hello, is this Clare Edwards?" a strange voice asked. "Yes, it is. Who is this?"

"Eli said Clare, and his phone was in his pocket. I called the first Clare Edwards I saw. He is in the hospital. He's been stabbed numerous times."

_WHAT! NO, this cant be happening. Why didnt I convince him to stay here. Clare, stop fucking talking to yourself and get down there!_

I ran as fast as I could. It seemed to take hours to get there. People were yelling at me like I was crazy.

I was drowned in tears, my vision was fading, breathing slowing. I finally got there.

I ran in screamin ELI. I got to his room, ran in, and fell to the floor. I couldnt look at him.

He was hooked up to so many machines. Breathing tubes, IV lines. I couldnt take it.

I guess the doctor had came in, and asked me to sit in a chair next to him. I couldnt move.

I could have been in the floor for, ten minutes..thirty minutes..and hour. I didnt know.

But I heard a faint call of my name. It was Eli.

I jumped to my feet, still crying as hard as I could.

"Clare, I'm so sorry. I shouldnt have left. Im so stupid."

"Eli, no..Your not stupid. You were trying to protect your best friend."

Machines started beeping. The numbers were all going down. I was freaking out.

"NO! You gotta stop this. He cant leave." Doctors were running in and out of his room.

One of them told me I had to leave his room. What, are you kidding me? Im not leaving his side.

I guess I had went to sleep, but I woke up and Eli was looking at me.

"Hello sleep head." he said with a smirk. "Did I give you a scare?"

I ran to his side. "Well, yes you did. Decreasing numbers tend to be scary, if there on hospitals monitors."

"Im sorry Clare. I love you. I shouldnt have left you. I should have stayed right there beside you."

"Eli, you cant blame yourself. What happened to Fitz? Owen?"

"Owen ran off when the cops showed up. And Fitz slit his throat."

Eli kept making faces and I knew he was in pain. I didnt want him to be hurt. Damn Fitz.

"Eli, this shouldnt have happened. You cant do this. When the monitors were beeping, I thought for sure you were gone. I cant be with out you."

"Clare, did you really think I was going to let myself slip away and leave you here. Do I have to explain my feelings for you, again?"

"No, I know you really care about me. As long as you promise me your not going to hurt me..in any way."

I looked up at him, and he was crying about as hard as I was. Eli, crying? I knew then he really cared.

"Clare, I swear to you..I wont let anything happen to you. Ever. I wont let anyone touch you. If someone looks at you wrong, they hear from me.

Someone asks me about you, I'll tell them shes the girl I love. Nothing can come between us. I love you."

We fell asleep, our hands locked in each others. tears drying halfway down our face. In a hospital room.

As long as I was with Eli, it didnt matter where I was, who else was there. As long as I was with him, it felt right. And thats all that matters.


	7. Remembering

(title credit, Karen)

(story ideas, credit too Brookieee)  
-my story, is very uhh, mature..if you will..

Chapter 7

**Clare's POV**

Eli was in the hospital about a week. I was by his side every day. I never let go of his hand.

I had a feeling if I left him, I would never see him again.

He slept most of the time, but I was okay with that. He needed his rest.

He would wake up for short 5 minute time periods, and the first thing he would say is I love you.

_Eli, your in a hospital bed, in pain, and you always manage to say I love you._

**Eli's POV**

_Yes, I may have been almost killed, but everytime I saw Clare sitting there, thats all that was on my mind._

Everytime she looked at tme I say tears in her eyes. But why? Nothing was going to come between us. I wasnt going to leave her.

"Clare, why do you cry when you look at me?"

"I look at you, and I always think..what if? What if the doctors couldnt save you? What was I going to do without you?

When I saw those numbers, my life stopped. I didnt know. I didnt think I could have went on without you."

"Ohh, and jsut what were you planning to do if I wouldnt have made it? Kill yourself? I think not!

Clare, you have too much to live for. But like I told you, I wasnt going to leave you."

"Eli, there wouldnt have been anything you could have done. Your lucky to be here. The way you looked, it was scary."

"I heard you refused to leave my side. Thank you. I remember someone talking to me and I said Clare, and when i woke up, there you were."

"Did you really think I was just going to sit back and let my boyfriend slip away. NO!"

I couldnt help but smile. Clare ment the world to me. And hearing her say that made the pain go away.

But deep down, the pain was still there. I couldnt hide it. All I knew was I wanted out, and I wanted Clare in my arms.

It had been about two weeks, and I had gotten what I wanted.

Clare and I were sitting on her couch, my arms around her, and I didnt plan on letting her go.

She was laying there, sleeping. I didnt want to move and wake her up. She looked so perfect.

So, I didnt. I sat their and fell asleep with her.

**Clare's POV**

It was so perfect. Both of us just laying here. I didnt want this moment to leave.

But as everything else in this world, the moment was slipping away.

And then it started..

_.."He's going! COME QUICK! HELP! I remember screaming at the top of my lungs. "ELI! DONT LEAVE ME!" They were poking him, so many needles, wires and cables. Why was this happening? _

I shot up out of my sleep, breathing heavy and crying. Eli had no idea what was going on. I couldnt tell him. I didnt want him to worry about my sanity, or my lack there of.

Everything that has happened with us, its safe to say my sanity was long gone.

"Clare, are you alright!"

"Yeah, Im fine. Just a bad dream. Go back to sleep."

We laid there and he fell back asleep, but all I could do was lay there and cry.


	8. Slipping Away

(title credit, Karen)

(story ideas, credit too Brookieee)  
-my story, is very uhh, mature..if you will..

-this chater is all Eli-

Chapter 8

I feared for Clare. Her sanity. She tried to hide it, but it never worked.

What's happened to her life? Her parents, me? I would be worried if she was 100% okay to be honest.

Yes, I was still very much worried about her. But it's Clare, shes strong. She can get through anything.

But something was telling me, it was to tough for her. But why?

She had been through many rough things, but this..it was just hitting her to hard.

I couldnt stand seeing her down. It hurt me. I knew she wouldnt talk to me about it.

_Eli, what are you doing? You know something is wrong with her?_

_It's Clare, you know you can her to tell you anything._

Really! My mind..again. I knew I could get her to tell me, but I didnt want to upset her.

She would tell me if, and when shes ready. Even if she didnt, as long as sh was by my side, the world was right.

Being with Clare, felt right. Perfect even. I didnt want to ruin that.

Clare made me feel special. Mushy, yes. But true.

Looking at her made everything bad in the world go away.

I was somewhat a better person with her. I just wanted to sit and look in her eyes all day.

Seeing her laying here, sleepin..but worried. She was still the most gorgeous person ever.

I wanted to wake her up just to tell her i loved her, but I couldnt.

_~I dont know where I am, why Im in pain, or even what happened._

_Someone keeps screaming my name, but its very faint. But it was Clare, I knew it._

_As loud as I screamed back at her, she never heard me. Why? Why couldnt she hear me?_

_I needed to know what was going on? I tried to sit up and all I heard was a flatline ring.~_

I quickly sat up. Clare hadnt known why I was pancing.

_Now I guess I knew why she shot up so fast._

_Was her dream the same as mine? Why am I having this dream anyway?_

I guess it's what could have happened. Right?

The numbers hitting zero, nothing more they could have done.

I knew how she felt now. I couldnt be without her.

Seeing just a slight glimpse of death, though in a dream, opened my eyes.

People tell me im obssessed with death. Might just have something to with the hearse..

But, no..they had it all wrong. Death was the biggest fear I had. Without a doubt.

Leaving, no more breathing. Talking about it even scares me.

Its strange for me to be scared, but only a few things really truely scare me.

Death, and not being with Clare.

Most people would say 'ohh thats just crazy. you could easily be without her."

NO! I cant. Though Clare questions her sanity when shes with me, she is the only thing that keep me sane.

Without her, I would honestly be on the verge of insanity.

I tried drifting back to sleep, but something was stuck in the back of my mind. And it wasnt going away.

_Time was slipping away. Colors fading, light growing darker._

_Sounds blending together. simply fading away, as if no one cared._


	9. Through Death's Eyes

(title credit, Karen)

(story ideas, credit too Brookieee)  
-my story, is very uhh, mature..if you will..

fact: im really diggin The Lovely Bones right now,

&it shows.

**Eli's POV**

_Fading away. Out of sight, out of mind._

_Not a care in the world. Not alive nor dead. In the in-bewteen._

_Blue horizons, bright green fields. Birds singing._

This feeling of slipping away was eating me alive inside.

But somehow, I always found my way back to the thought.

Somehow I felt safe. Strange, but true.

I liked the knowingness of being in the in-between, yet it would never be true.

Explaining the feeling of being safe was hard to do. But not impossible.

I was free, but so trapped. But trapped being good, in this sense.

No worries, no guilt, no regret.

Guessing by my reaction to the people around me, they knew something wasnt right with me.

But it wasnt that. I was very much okay with things.

Saying all this makes me feel strange, but everything I say is honesty.

_I wont speak a lie of my feeling for this thought._

_I wanted it. I needed it. But leaving behind important people._

_I wasnt okay with that. Being in that thought, then realizing what it meant..it always turned dark._

_If they only knew, they would truely classify me as a death obsessed maniac._

I was no maniac nor freak. I was of my own person.

Unique in my own skin. Strange to the average person.

I was far from average.

Caring, loving and passionate. All those were true.

I was me. And people chose what to think of me.

-short chapter, im sorry. Eli is discovering himself kinda..but in his own way. Befrending death, though tough for the average person. it makes Eli feel safe.


	10. Animals

**Clare's POV**

Eli had started growing distant. But why?

Was it something I did? Said?

_Your crazy, you havent said more than 5 words to him in over a week._

I wasnt going to put up with this anyore. I was done with waiting around for Eli.

He needed to face reality, he wasnt dead and thats that.

But he needed to realize also, that I was still in his life.

I missed the way Eli and I use to be. Though crazy and intense, it was great!

I didnt want to be rude, but I had to.

Eli was in sleeping in my bed, new sheets finally.

I had to wake him up. I couldnt take it.

I ran in and slapped him in the face.

"Eli, get your ass up now!"

"Clare, what the fuck? Why did you slap me in the fucking face?"

"Eli, I cant fucking take this anymore! I want things back to the way they use to be!"

I was in tears, yelling as loud as I could.

"Calm down, and slow down. Now what the hell are you talking about?"

"I knew tihs would happen. I told you it would. And you promised it wouldnt."

"CLARE, WHAT THE FUCK! Whats happening?"

'Im losing you Eli. I know it. Your falling farther from me."

"Clare, your not losing me. Why would you think that?"

''Look at us Eli. You cant look at me and tell me you still want me."

Ohh boy, was I wrong. I should have shut my mouth.

If only I knew what was going to happen.

When Eli was pissed, he was PISSED.

But the way he showed it, OHH MYY!

After I had said all that, Eli gave me that look.

And with that one sexy smirk, I knew what I had gotten myself into.

**Eli's POV**

"CLARE, WHAT THE FUCK! Whats happening?"

'Im losing you Eli. I know it. Your falling farther from me."

"Clare, your not losing me. Why would you think that?"

''Look at us Eli. You cant look at me and tell me you still want me."

_Why does she think shes losing em? Can she not see what shes doing to me?_

Ive got to do something. I dont want her to think that.

I gave her that look, that makes her insatantly crumble to my feet.

She stoood there, and finally realized what was going to go down.

I was pissed, she knew that much. But I wasnt going to hurt her, not on purpose anyway.

I went to her, and with a slight tug..her clothes were off.

I threw her on the bed, and hearing her scream my name everytime I would thrust into her, sent chills down my spine.

If all the scars on my back were gone from before, they were back now.

Breathing heavy, and very much in the moment. I stopped.

Clare looked at me with that 'what the fuck' look.

I couldnt do it anymore. I couldnt breathe.

This was intense. More than ever before.

I wanted to keep going, but my body told me to stop.

She got up and threw my tshirt over her head, barely covering her body.

She walked downstairs to the kitchen. Why? I have no idea.

I waited a minute and followed her.

She stood there, questioning me.

Walking over to her, trying not to give in..was nearly impossible.

Was it the fact that she was in my shirt?

Or that she was running her hand up and down my shirtless body.

I had no idea, but giving in was my only choice.

And with that, in the kitchen or not, I gave it to her.

She was leaning over the table and screaming.

And there was the chills again.

She shoved me into a chair and sat on my lap.

There was no way I was stopping this time.

I wouldnt. I dont think I could even if I tried.

I couldnt even tell you how long all that went on.

The time found a way to slip my mind.

It didnt matter though.

Somehow we ended up laying in the kitchen floor.

And my shirt, that Clare had once been wearing was torn to shreds, much like her bed sheets.

She looked up at me. "Eli, im so sorry for doubting you."

"I told you I would never give up on you. Ive just had alot on my mind lately."

"I love you."

'I love you too. Now how about we just go watch a movie, and actually pay attention."

"Sounds like a plan."

-*thank you Kelsey for the kickass kitchen idea :)*-


	11. Awaken

**Eli's POV**

_The same dream. Every night. Why?_

_This in-between. Was it trying to tell me something?_

_The thought of being safe there, and it coming back to..made me want it more and more._

Suddenly waking up, I realized it was around 3 in the morning.

And I was on Clare's couch. But alone. Why?

The whole hosue was black, and walking around became nearly impossible.

I managed to make it up the stairs, to Clare's bedroom.

Peeking in, I noticed her laying on her bed. Uncovered, and in one of my other tshirtrs.

I loved when she would wear them. I have no idea why.

For some strange reason, I couldnt leave her alone.

Sitting by her on the edge of the bed, she just looked so ..wow. She wouldnt be asleep for long.

I ran my hands up her leg, taking in how soft her skin was.

She started moving around, but I wouldnt stop.

Slowly lifting MY shirt up, exposing her perfect stomach..

Something was happening, not like anything before.

There was just something about her being asleep, and me having the control.

I didnt know what it was, male impowerment maybe.

The feeling I had, I didnt want it to go away.

I felt like I could burst at any moment.

_If only she was awake, I could share this moment with her._

_But I dont want to wake her, but I do._

I really needed to stop talking to myself and just let my control over her do what it wanted.

So thats exactly what I did.

Clare being asleep, and me being inside her..was the best feeling in the world.

Now, no I wasnt going to have sex with her while she was sleeping.

Hands get the job done quite well.

She was still asleep, but very much aware of what was going on.

If she woke up would she be mad? Or go along with it?

_Ohh no! Shes awake!_

_I guess Im about to find out._

"Eli, uhmm..can I ask..why arent I wearing any underwear and why is your hand all up inside me!"

"Hello Clare, uhmm..theres a very good explination for that..but sadly..I dont have it."

_Do I stop, and let her go back to sleep?_

_Do I get up and walk away?_

_What am I suppose to do?_

_Eli, your such an idiot!_

"I uhh, im sorry Clare..you can go back to sleep."

I started to get up and walk out the door, but Clare stopped me.

"Wait, dont go. Maybe I woke up because I wanted to. Maybe I dont want to stop."

Clare wlaked in front of me and pulled the soor shut, like they do in Cruel Intentions.

She pulled my shirt off of me, and kissed me from my neck down.

I picked her up and walked her over and layed her on the bed.

I felt her hands meet behind my neck, her fingers locking together.

I managed to get my shirt off of her, and Clare still turned red.

Why? She had no reason to be ashamed of her body. She was beautiful.

I traced a line from her lips all the way down with my finger. And she had chills.

I stood up, finally getting my belt undone. It wasnt fair to her that i still had my pants on.

I layed down next to her, and she decided she was going to get on me this time.

Damn her. But I was okay with it.

She kissed all down my body stopping where my pants would start.

When she came back up, we rolled over and i softly entered her.

Faster and harder each time.

She grabbed my hair almost pulling it out and screamed.

Something happened!

Ohh NO! I knew what it was, and so did Clare. She didnt seem to mind.

And I wasnt ready to stop, so I didnt.

She was still very much in the moment. Grabbing at my ahir, her sheets..anything she could get ahold of.

We stopped and layed there for a moment.

No sounds but our heavy breathing.

Afer about 10 minutes of silence, I looked at her.

"You knw I still love you right?"

"Of course I do. Why? Are you having thoughts now?"

"I couldnt dream of having regret about anything I do with you Clare."

"Good."


	12. Possibility

**Clare's POV**

Nears death experiences.

Fights that never stopped.

And being with Eli..awkwardly..still felt right.

There was something about the way he would look at me.

I liked it, and I didnt want it to stop.

His smile made it feel like nothing else mattered.

_Eli makes me feel special, and as crazy as it sounds..I cant stand being away from him._

Which explains the lack of Eli right now.

He wasnt at my house, I wasnt at his.

But that needed to change.

**Eli's POV**

Being away from Clare for longer than a day..

I wasnt such a big fan of it.

I wanted to call her, but what if shes busy?

_Damn Eli, get your head on straight!_

_If you want to talk to her..then just fucking call her._

But she beat me to it.

I got a text, and all it said was "_**SEX?(:"**_

And yes, it was from Clare..what am I suppose to say to that?

As easily as possible I guess.. "yessss"

After that I got another one, "_**handcuffs?(:**_"

How was i going to say no to that!

Im guessing I texted back yes, because Clare said it was going to be a kickass night.

_What have I done to Saint Clare?_

_Sex, handcuffs, and foul languge!_

Considering her past I frequently heard about..

KC cheating on her, the fact that she wore a uniform..

I think I spiced up her life quite alot.

And by the way things were going..she didnt seem to have a problem with it.

**Clare's POV**

Texting all this, was strange.

But I liked it.

I walked over to my window to open it and let some fresh air in..

but the smell, was too much.

I couldnt take it.

I threw up all over my floor.

I hadnt ate anything all day, why was I getting sick?

I kept trying to remember what it could have been..

but the only thing that would ring a bell was Eli..

_OHH SHIT CLARE!_

_How could you possibly be so stupid!_

How could my mind be processing all this!

Because I sure wasnt..crazzzzzzzzzzzzzy!

It all clicked, I hadnt started and it had been well over a week since I was suppose to.

I had no idea what was going to happen.

Could this really be happeneing?

The only thing I could think to do was call Eli.

"Hello." Eli answered. If only he knew.

"Eli, we need to talk."

"Clare, your not doing this again are you?"

"No Eli, just come over here. You need to hear this."


	13. Don't Give Up

**Eli's POV**

_Ohh my fucking god! _

_What could possibly be wrong now?_

_Did I do something to piss her off?_

I couldnt even bein to think of what Clare had to talk about this time.

We talked seriously every damn day!

And always about the same exact thing.

Pulling up to Clare's house, sent a whole flood fof emotions through my body.

I didnt know whether to be worried, or just let it go like usual.

This talking every day and Clare _continuing _to doubt me..

She was sitting outisde, waiting for me I guess.

I got out of Morty, disappointment all over my face.

I thought we had got past all this regret and doubting.

Before I could get a word out, she quickyl ran over, clinged to me and cried her eyes out.

This wasnt going to be the same talk, it was something much bigger, but what?

"Clare, why are you crying? What happened?"

"Eli, Im uhmm..Can we go inside?"

She pulled me into the house and slammed the door.

I went to sit down to hear what she had to say, but she attacked me. kissing me very passionately.

I broke from the kiss, and her tearing at my clothes.

"Clare, what is going on?" She look upset, and very confused.

"Eli, I'm...I'm.." I cut her off.

"Clare, your what? Fucking spit it out already!"

"IM PREGNANT ELI! OKAY! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!"

Clare lost her balance, and fell to the floor. I helped her back up, and over to the couch.

"Clare, why didnt you tell me? How long have you known?

"I jsut realized it before I called you."

"Are you sure?" I was having a bit of a mental freak out!

"Yes Eli, I'm positive. I'm late, and I puked from opening a window."

I didnt know what to say. I sat there staring at the floor.

"Eli, please say something. Anything."

_Come on ELi._

_Your girlfriend is pregnant!_

_Say something you fucking idiot!_

_NOW!_

"Well, what do we do now?" I asked her, feeling my stomach drop.

"I dont know Eli. Im really scared."

"It's going to be okay babe, we can get through this together."

"Promise. I dont want to get halfway through all this and you give up on me."

"Clare, Im not going to give up on you. Not now, not EVER! I swear."

I leaned down to kiss her, and we sat there..

In dead silence.


	14. Eli's Thoughts

**This chapter is all my thoughts, put into Eli's life.**

**Hopefully it doesnt bore you to death.**

_So many thigns crossed my mind._

_Julia, Clare, death._

_What was becoming of me?_

_Was my sanity slowly fading away?_

_Did I have sanity left at all?_

_Was I ever going to stop talking to myself?_

_Talking to myself made me more paranoid._

_It always felt like people knew my thoughts._

_It felt like they were judging me for it._

_I wasnt perfect._

_I had a troubled life._

_*"Eli, go away. I dont want to see your face ever again!"_

_"Julia, I love you. Please listen to me. Im begging you."_

_"No, you've said enough. Leave me alone."_

_And with that, she was gone._

_Seeing her life being taken from her in an instant._

_Im standing here, realizing I just lost her._

_And there was no getting her back._

_What had I done?_

_This was all my fault._

_How was I going to live with myself?_

_I just watched my girlfriend die._

_And I didnt stop her._

_Im standing here, scraeming at the top of my lungs._

_Can anyone hear me?_

_Does anyone care?_

_Of course they care Eli._

_They just care more about the dead girl laying in your arms._

_Tears flooding my face, blurring all sight._

_I couldnt think, I couldnt breathe.*_

_When Julia died, my whole world came to a stop._

_I didnt think I could go on without her._

_I remeber standing in my bathroom, with the razor blade to my wrist._

_My body told me to do it, but something was stopping me._

_Honestly, it felt like Julia telling me it was going to get better._

_I wanted to believe it would, but how could it?_

_She was gone, and it was all my fault._

_When Clare came along, I knew I had a reason to live again._

_Seeing her that day, looking into her eyes.._

_I knew that girl was going to change my life._

_And she did._

_My passion and love came back when I was with her._

_I had no regret, no doubt or sadness._

_Clare made the world feel right again._

_*I dont know where I am, why Im in pain, or even what happened._

_Someone keeps screaming my name, but its very faint. But it was Clare, I knew it._

_As loud as I screamed back at her, she never heard me. Why? Why couldnt she hear me?_

_I needed to know what was going on? I tried to sit up and all I heard was a flatline ring._

_Why wasnt anthing going right? Why?_

_Why didnt I just stay there?_

_Why was i so fucking stupid?_

_Once I realized i was in a hospital bed, these thoughts flooded my mind.*_

_Remembering that day, brought back my safe place._

_This in-between? What was so speical about it?_

_I was all alone, in this perfect world._

_Yet, no one I cared about was there._

_I was alone. But still safe._

_I knew I wanted it, but I couldnt have it._

_And not being able to have it made me want it even more._

_These three thoughts kill me everyday._

_What if Julia and I never faught?_

_Would she still be in my arms?_

_Where would Clare be? She wouldnt be my Clare?_

_If I never met Clare, I would have never faced death._

_I wouldnt have the safe place I could go to._

_The place where it all went away._

_All this was eating me alive inside._

**OKAY! so, uhmm..yeah..  
not mre more I can say then what this all says.**


	15. Clare's Thoughts

**More thoughts, just out into Clare's life this time.**

**&yes, after this chapter..I promise it will get more exciting.**

_Knowing Eli was going through all this.._

_made it difficult for me to smile._

_I could never find time to be happy._

_But for the first time, I knew what Eli was thinking._

_I could see it in his eyes._

_I could see his pain._

_I felt his pain._

_I sat and cried for him._

_Which in turn, made him question my sanity even more._

_What was happening to us?_

_Eli, questioning his sanity, and mine._

_Me, doubting and almost regreting._

_We were falling apart._

_Thoughts coming back, flooding my mind._

_I wanted to scream._

_I didnt want them coming back._

_*Seeing him, laying here..unaware of everything._

_My heart broke. I wanted to tell him it would be okay._

_But he couldnt hear me. So there was no point._

_But I heard a faint call of my name. It was Eli._

_I jumped to my feet, still crying as hard as I could._

_"Clare, I'm so sorry. I shouldnt have left. Im so stupid."_

_"Eli, no..Your not stupid. You were trying to protect your best friend."_

_He was mine, I wasnt going to loose him. Not now._

_He was looking at me, with the most love in his eyes._

_Machines started beeping. The numbers were all going down. I was freaking out._

_"NO! You gotta stop this. He cant leave." Doctors were running in and out of his room._

_One of them told me I had to leave his room. What, are you kidding me? Im not leaving his side.*_

_Remembering that night, still brings me to tears._

_The thought of loosing Eli..no._

_I wasnt emotionally stable to handle that._

_Loss, and sadness._

_I wasnt ready to face that._

_And dreaming of it night after night._

_Eli dreaming the same dream._

_Thoughts being thought between us._

_The madness was overwhelming._

_Was it ever going to end._

_All I wanted was to wake up one day,_

_and realize it was all just a dream._

_Dream? Or nightmare?_

_Worst experiance of my life even._

_And the worst part of it all.._

_I relived it everyday._

_Looking at Eli made me think._

_I didnt want to, but it happened._

_I look at him, and all I see is darkness._

_But hidden behind the darknes.._

_there was a light, that I longed for._

_And I knew all this would make it more so.._

_apparent that I was quickly loosing my sanity._

_I watched life, love and death flash before my eyes._


	16. Life, like love Meaningless

**ok, so I lie..**

**I have no idea where this chapter is going..**

**I have more thoughts, that might come out**

**&then again, they might not..who knows..**

_Finally realizing the stress I was putting on Clare,_

_I had to sit down and talk with her._

_I couldnt hide my feelings forever._

_I needed to get it all out._

_And Clare listened to me._

_But why?_

_I was dark, and tortured._

_Who would want to be within reach of me?_

_Why do I matter so much to someone so.._

_perfect, loveing, and gentle._

_I was nothing._

_Useless._

_Worthless._

_No good._

_Not to Clare._

_Somehow, I was everything to her._

_She knew my past, and she didnt judge._

_Thats why I loved her._

_Love._

_A meaningless word._

_One word that is so meaningless,_

_it has many meanings._

_Love meaning hurt, scared._

_Or, just love._

_I loved Clare._

_Not the meaningless love._

_Not hurt, nor scared._

_Love, meaning I would die for her._

_Strangley, though afraid of dying._

_And death in its own._

_I would die for Clare._

_Though Clare said she loved me._

_It didnt feel like love._

_Not meaningless either._

_But regret._

_She lied straight to my face,_

_when she said she wasnt in doubt._

_I knew she was._

_I could tell by the look in her eyes._

_She was scared._

_Who wouldnt be scared of me._

_Im scared of me._

_She said she wasnt scared of me,_

_she was scared of losing me._

_Why?_

_She had no reason to be scared_

_of losing me._

_I didnt plan on going anywhere._

_Not yet anyway._

_Who knows where the days will lead you._

_Out of state, out of mind._

_Out of life itself._

_Was that what all this amounted to._

_Leaving life, for good?_

_I wanted to believe it was._

_But I couldnt._

_Leaving life, ment leaving Clare._

_I wanted to, I didnt deserve her._

_But in her mind, she didnt deserve me._

_She had no idea._

_Why was she so nieve to think that?_

_Clare was perfect._

_Not in everyones description of perfect._

_In my description._

_And thats all that mattered._

_People care to much about what everyone thinks of them._

_I cared, to an extent._

_People looked when the saw Clare and I together._

_They would talk, but it never amount to anything._

_Words are meaningless._

_Like love._

_Love, love, love._

_Why did it matter so much?_

_Who really knows the answer to that._

_Life, love, emotions._

_Fear, mentally scared._

_Scared of whats going to happen next._

_Scared of not getting to the next day._

_Scared of being in love._

_Was I scared of being in love?_

_Or just the thought of love?_

_Had I lost my mind?_

_Questioning all this._

_Questioning life._

_Life, like love, was meaningless._

_To me anyway._

_People will always tell you_

_how important you are._

_Or how much you mean to then._

_It never ends up as anything._

_Your thoughts, your decisions._

_People had the power to control you._

_But they couldnt control your mind._

_The mind wants what the mind wants._

_No one could stop it._

_Thoughts makeing up your life._

_Meaningless, useless life._


	17. Hate

**I cant tell you whats going to be in this chaper..**

**because to be honest, i have no idea.**

**thoughts may come out..**

**but it will be more interesting..hopefully.**

_Standing here, looking into the eyes of_

_the most perfect personin the world._

_It all came clear to me again._

_Life had meaning._

_Though meaningless,_

_like love._

_It had meaning._

She looked at me with a smile in her eyes,

instantly making me smirk at her.

All the thoughts going through my head

the past few weeks, and I still managed

to smirk at her.

_A facial expression._

_What did it mean?_

_Her falling weak to my control._

_Me having control at all._

_Control over her mind._

_My mind._

_My feelings._

_Her feelings._

Her loosing all control,

and me quicky picking her up off her feet.

I missed that.

I missed the way Clare and I use to be.

Not a care in the world.

Spending every moment together.

Hot, and passionate.

_Am I sure I want this?_

_I miss it for sure._

_But did Clare want it?_

_Only one way to find out._

The only thought I had that completely left my mind..

Clare was pregnant, or so she said she was.

What now?

Do I ask her..

"Clare, uhmm..I have a question.."

"Yes..."

"Remember how you said you were..pregnant"

'Well Eli, considering I havent seen or heard from you

until now, I hadnt had a chance to tell you. Im not.

It was all in my head. I started last night."

"Ohh thank god! I was so freaked out.

Wait, how can being pregnant be in your head?"

"I have no idea Eli, but it was. So we have no worries."

"If you say so.."

I now knew I had to just give in to all this.

I wanted Clare, I needed her.

Seeing her, sitting there..

made all my male urges come back.

"Clare, why dont we go to my room?"

"Now Eli, are you getting at something." She smirked almost mocking mine.

She knew exactly what was on my mind.

"Ohh, you know..to study.."

"Study ehh? Alright. If you try anything, you know I cant help myself."

I knew this. She had no need to tell me.

Walking down the hall, Clare only inches behind me.

I had an idea of how this was going to go down.

I had so much anger built up inside me.

It had to come out some how.

I wasnt going to hurt her.

I didnt want that.

We got to my bedroom door..

Clare walked in first, me slamming the door shut behind me.

It made her jump.

I laughed under my breath.

Clare went to sit down but I stopped her.

Grabbing her waist and turning her around.

Pinning her to the wall, not more then an inch between us.

My breath on her neck.

Her knees growing weak.

Her hands pulled me closer.

I knew I had to do it.

I couldnt hold out anymore!

I picked her up, threw her on the bed.

Clothes were flying off.

In about 30 seconds no clothes were left.

At that moment I looked into her eyes,

and gave her everything I had.

Hearing her scream my name.

Her hands makeing me jump at her touch.

THe passion and love that was between us.

It was alot.

Alot I had missed.

Exactly what I needed back in my life.

Or not?

In the back of my mind something was telling me..

_*Meaningless life._

_Meaningless love._

_Many meansing of love,_

_only transformed into_

_meanings of hate.*_

_Did I hate Clare?_

_There was no way I hated her._

_My love for her, was clearly showing._

_Why do these feeling of love_

_become feelings of hate._

_Hate._

_Hating myself._

_Hating life._

_Hating everything._

_Was hate meaningless._

_Hate, love, and life._

_Meansingless, but together._


	18. Not Meaningless At All

**Maybe more thoughts..i have no idea.**

**Trying to bade it off of tonights episode.**

**Lets see if that happens...**

**btw this is gna be off and on from Clare &Eli..**

_Life, full of meaning._

_Full of reason._

_Full of love._

_Loving Eli._

_Eli loving abck._

_Did he love me?_

_Im sure he does._

_I have nothing to worry about._

_Words mock me with their lies._

_The thought of love,_

_or being in love._

_As meaningless as it all was,_

_there was some meaning left._

_Meaning of love._

_It had all came clear._

_Love, though meaningless.._

_Its what I needed most._

_The thoughts mocking me_

_as they crossed my mind._

_I knew now_

_that I was not afraid of love._

_Or being in love._

_Afraid of the hurt after._

_Why did I constantly have these thoughts?_

_Life._

_Love._

_Death._

_Regret._

_Being free._

_Being free._

_Trapped._

_Those thoughts always brought me back_

_to that one place._

_Where all the care went away._

_I knew not what to think._

_Of Eli's emotion change that is._

_He seemed so unaware._

_So held back._

_What was I missing?_

_Something so simple,_

_it was right in my face._

_But I couldnt even begin to _

_understand what it was._

_Never a worried,_

_nor scared look crossed his face._

_He always seemed calm._

_And thats why I knew_

_something was wrong._


	19. Fear

_Why couldnt I just face her?_

_Was I so scared to talk?_

_I was gradually crumbling._

_I didnt have any control._

_Weird._

_Very._

_Going from_

_having all control,_

_to not having any at all._

_New struggles,_

_coming and going._

_All it brought_

_was more stress._

_More stress then I_

_had the patience to handle._

_I hadnt the nerve to handle._

_Though I was slowly_

_dying inside,_

_the look of worry_

_never crossed my face._

_I looked like a normal teenage boy,_

_trying to enjoy his day._

_Smile on his face._

_THe hate still burning inside me._

_Hate, why did it always come to hate._

_I didnt want to ahte her._

_I loved her._

_Did I?_

_I hated the idea of loving her._

_Not becuase of anything she had done._

_Because I knew something was going to happen._

_I could say no its not as much as I wanted to,_

_but something bad was eventually going to break us apart._

_I wanted to love,_

_and only love._

_But for me.._

_it wasnt possible._

_The thought of loving _

_someone so_

_vile_

_and dark._

_Why?_

_She needed not to love me._

_Fear me, yes._

_Fear, that thought _

_made me shiver._

_No matter how hard I tried,_

_I couldnt convice myself_

_it was going to get better._

_I wanted it to so bad._

_I was tired of hating myself._

_I was tired of hating Clare_

_for whats happened to us._

_Why do I keep going_

_back to hating Clare?_

_I didnt hate her!_

_Was I lying to myself?_

_Why do I constantly have thses thoughts!_

_They never end._

_They never even slightly went away._


	20. Swimming

**Clare's POV**

Eli and I were slowly getting back to normal.

Daily hang out.

Less talking.

I didnt want to make him think I was regreting.

I wasnt, but something told me I had to.

Though we were good again,

something was still not right.

But what?

Eli and I could just lay around for hours.

In silence, or watching a movie

Or just something.

If ever we kissed, it was just one.

Our passion was gone.

Our lust was gone.

I wanted it to be him

that came crawling back wanting it.

But it was I who wanted it.

**Eli's POV**

_I could sit here all day _

_and tell you_

_that I didnt miss the passion_

_Clare and I had._

_Id be lying._

As much as I wanted the passion to come back,

I knew Clare didnt.

But what if she did.

I sat in my room,

thinking it was a nice summer night.

Perfect for swimming, and thinking.

I decided to go out in the back yard,

and just hang out for a while.

_Take my phone? _

_Or not?_

_What if Clare calls or something?_

I left it.

I just wanted to relax.

I was too stressed.

I didnt want distractions.

And Clare would be one.

Bad, and good.

I had been out there for

maybe 20 minutes.

I had my earphones in

blasting my music.

Not much of a way to relax.

But it helped.

Sitting there, late at night.

Eyes shut, loud music.

Never a good thing.

Someone came up behind me,

and tapped on my shoulder.

It was Clare.

The last person I needed to see.

"Clare? What are you doing here?"

'Something is missing Elijah."  
"Please dont call me Elijah, and what do you mean?"

"Were slowly getting back to normal, but theres one thing."

Clare stood there,

slowly unbuttoning her shirt.

I knew it wasnt just me missing it.

I got out of the pool.

The look on her face as she saw

the water slowly dripping off of me.

Her jaw dropped.

"E-Eli.."

I reached her,

moving her hair.

Her neck exposed.

Kissing her from her neck,

reaching her chest.

The feeling I had was intense.

I couldnt restarin myself much longer.

I looked at her and smirked.

My smirk.

The one that made her fall weak.

The one thing I used to control her.

Right as she reached her breaking point,

I grabbed her hand..slowly getting back into the pool.

Her shirt was halfway undone, and she was fully clothed.

Makes no sense to get into a pool and get our clothes all wet..

I had my plan, and I wasnt going to let her change that.

I sat at the side,

Clare on my lap.

I bit at her chest making her giggle and tense up.

"Eli, what if someone sees us?"

'I dont care. Let them watch."

"Your mom is going to kill us."

"Well Clare, thats a risk im willing to take"

I smirked, making her all the more tense.

It was quite.

The only sound was

her breathing heavier and heavier.

The wetness from the water,

and the light from the low setting sun.

It was too much to handle.

I grabbed at her shirt with my teeth.

She moaned slightly.

Her hands were around my neck,

pulling me closer to her body.

She had taken her pants off

and I guess I hadnt noticed.

Her bare skin on mine.

It made me want to die.

I was loving every moment of it.

She leaned down and bit my neck.

Quite hard actually.

At that moment,

I knew I couldnt sit here

like this any longer.

With one movement,

I had Clare pinned

to the side of the pool.

Holding her by ger wrists

and kissing her neck.

"Eli, now."

The way she said it,

made everything go away.

Her breath in my ear,

low and seductive.

After that,

everything went down hill.

I thrust into her.

Insatantly making her scream my name.

Had she forgot my mom was inside?

Did she care?

Obviously not.

Each time I would thrut in and out,

my name would be screamed.

Louder and louder.

I heard a door slam.

"ELIJAH ANDREW GOLDSWORTHY!" my mother yelled.

"Mom! Go the fuck away!"

My mom wasnt happy to say the least.

She knew what Clare and I had.

She just didnt want to see anyone get hurt.

Considering the whole Julia thing.

I knew what I was doing.

I wasnt going to let anything happen to Clare.

She blushed when I yelled at my mom.

I could tell she was embarassed.

I smiled and kissed her.

We finished and sat their for a minute.

"Lets say we go to my room."

"Sure, but umm..Eli, my clothes are sort of soaked."

"Take my towl. I put my shorts back on."

She smiled at me.

We got out and I wrapped my towl around her.

Walking inside was awkward.

Their stood my mom, giving me that look.

Clare kept her face to the floor,

without saying a word.

We got up to my room,

and it was all about to be out of her control.

Once again.

**THANK YOU KELSEY! for the name Andrew!**


	21. Double The Love

**This whole chapter is based off of mine and Kelsey's**

**kinky kickass 2am yahoo conversations! XD**

**We have beyond amayzzzzzing ideas! lmfao :))**

**&why! W E R E F U C K I N G B E A S T XD**

**Clare's POV**

What in the world!

His mom saw us, and she was mad yeah,

but I'm still here.

We walked up the stairs to his room,

and Eli hadnt said a word.

He kept that smirk on his face.

"Trying to tease me Goldsworthy?"

He slammed the door shut.

"Of course I am."

He grabbed the towl and threw it on the floor.

**Eli's POV**

Clare seemed shocked.

Why?

Well, I did just rip a towel from her body.

"Eli, what do you think your doing?"

I still had my permanant smirk on my face.

"Ohh, you know..just having a little fun."

"FUN! What happenes if your mom comes up?"

"Clare, calm yourself. She knows not to come into my room."

"Whatever you say."

Clare underestimated me too much.

She needed to trust me more.

Within seconds,

we were on the bed..

continuing from where we left off in the pool.

The harder and faster I went,

the more Clare kept loosing her breath.

Pulling at the sheets.

She was grabbing anything she could reach.

**Clare's POV**

I could feel it.

We were going to get in so much trouble.

His mom had already caught us once.

And he told her to go away.

WOW!

If it wasnt for the amazing feeling

that i had bulit up inside,

I would have noticed his door open.

"Elijah, what the fuck?"

"THERES TWO OF YOU!"

"Aaron, what in the hell are you doing here?" Eli didnt move but he was freaking out.

I looked up to face this "Aaron" person.

It was scary! He looked exactly like Eli

"Mom didnt tell you?" Aaron asked.

"Obviously not fucktard!" Eli was pissed!

_OK, im laying here naked._

_Eli has his dick in me,_

_and he chooses to fight with his brother!_

_WHAT THE FUCK!_

"Well, im just going to lay here then." I growled.

"Well Clare dear, you really shoudlnt have said that."

"And why is that?"

Eli and Aaron looked at eachother.

They both had that smirk.

I died.

I had no idea what I got myself into.

**Eli's POV**

Aaron knew what was on my mind.

He came in and slammed the door.

"Ohh little brother, mommy isnt going to be happy about this." Aaron smirked.

"Well mommy..can go to hell!"

Clare tried to sit up, but Aaron had ahold of her arms.

Pinning her to the bed, unable to move.

"Eli, what the fuck is going on?"

"Clare, dont make us make you beg. We dont want that." I smirked.

"Yeah Clare, listen to little Elijah. Id hate to take advantage of someone like you."

"Uhmmm, alright...?"

Who were we kidding!

We wanted her to beg.

We wanted her sceaming our name!

Both of us.

My Clare.

Ohh well..

**Clare's POV**

Ohh my god!

I am for sure going to hell for this!

I had Eli at my waist,

he had a brusing tight grip on my waist.

And Aaron, who I had just met..

biting at my neck as hard as he could.

Strangely, I enjoyed it.

Eli was kissing my thighs, I was breathless.

His touch was incredible.

Aaron was in my ear.

His hot breath down my neck.

Was it possible I wanted him more.

NO! I want Eli.

"Clare.." Eli looked up at me.

"Y-yeah..."

"Beg!"

"What..." I was shocked.

"He said beg!" Aaron said, as low as he possibly could.

"Im not going to..."

Eli had cut me off, and thrust into me hard.

I screamed out in pain.

Aaron had leaned down,

and was kissing me to hide my screams.

The screams went away.

I just laid there,

letting them have all control.

They stopped.

Aaron had left my lips,

and Eli replaced him.

"Aaron, you hurt her and your dead."

"Fuck you Eli, your precious Clare is safe."

"Ok, how is this sa-" OH MY!

"FUCK!" Oh wow, I just said fuck.

"Clare, are you alright?" Eli asked.

"Ye-yeah..never better.."

Aaron was great!

Better than Eli? Maybe..

**Aaron's POV**

How could Eli not want her everyday?

She was perfect.

The way her body moved.

Her skin was so soft.

The sound of her screams made me want her more.

But I couldnt do that to Eli.

He was my brother, and thats just not right.

But fuck, i wanted her to be mine.

"I uhh, I have to go..."

"Aaron, whats the matter?" Eli asked me..

"Nothing, I just..yeah..."

**Eli's POV**

"Well..thats was just strange.."

"Jusssst a little..." Clare was so out of breath.

I didnt want to stop, but I knew she wasnt going to be

able to go on much longer.

"Eli.."  
"Yeah.."

"Why did you want me to beg...?"

"Just because.."

"Well, thats not a very good answer..."

"Im sorry, I love you Clare.

"I love you too."

We laied there.

Clare trying to cath her breath.

Me kissing her neck,

moving down her shoulder.

She rolled over, with a big smile on her face.

"Eli, lets umm, never do that again."

"Clare Edwards, are you telling me you dont want me anymore!"

She knew I was being sarcastic and pushed me.

Landing on the floor.."Now that was just rude!" I smirked.

"Only me and you Eli. No one else. Im ONLY yours."

"Only mine, I can handle that."

I slid back into my bed, holding her.

I didnt want to let go.

Neither did she.

We just laid there, as happy as could be.

**please excuse the shitty ending. all my thoughts kinda went away.**

**ohh well..its better than nothing..**

**&now you see how crazy me and Kelsey get at 2 in the morning :)))**


	22. You're Mine

**&i FINALLY decide to write another chapter :)**

**haha,ive been very distracted lately!**

**&i realize my story is kinda all over the place..**

**but ohh well, its my story.. XD**

**Clare's POV**

Eli and I were strangely closer than ever,

after our night with Aaron.

Yes, I loved Eli...

but Aaron kept slipping through my mind.

The way he looked at me.

His voice was so...

perfect.

But Eli..

I love Eli.

And he loves me.

I dont want to hurt him like that.

I had to talk to Aaron,

he needed to know

that nothing was ever going to happen.

I decided to call their house,

considering i didnt have Aarons cell number..

"Hello." Eli's mom said.

"Hi, Mrs. Goldswrothy, its Clare."

"Hang on, ill get Eli.."  
"Wait, im actually callling for...Aaron.."

"Ohh, alright then, hang on.."

She seeed suspicious.

She had good reasons to be.

"Hello?" Aaron picked up.

"We need to talk, without Eli."  
"Alright, where?"

"Uhmm, come to my house.."

"Will do.."

**Eli's POV**

I heard the front door slam close,

so I went downstairs to find out why?

Mom was standing there.

"Where did he go?"

"I have no idea, Clare called for him-" I cut her off.

"Why did she call for... _him_"

"I have no idea son, why dont you find out." 

I tried calling him,

but as soon as I did..

his ringtone went off

coming from his bedroom.

_Just fucking great!_

_Why in the hell does Clare need him?_

And then it all clicked in my head.

**Aaron's POV**

Maybe Clare was coming to her senses.

Leaving little Elijah, for me.

I got to her house, knocked on the door.

And before I could knock again, it opened.

"God Clare, your beautiful."

"NO! Get in here."

She pulled my arm, and drug me in.

"Kinky!" I smirked.

"Aaron, the other day.. I was thinking.."  
"About?"

"You, me...Eli..."

"Ohh really? and?"

"And I realized just how much I love Eli."

"What the fuck Clare? You deserve so much better then him!"

"Aaron, nothing is ever going to happen with us, now you need to leave."  
She tried walking to the door, but I grabbed her wrist and threw her to the floor.  
"Your going to be mine Clare, one way or another!"

"What the hell are you doing?"

**Eli's POV**

I pulled up to Clare's house,

hoping she was in there.

And hoping Aaron WASN'T with her.

God, was I wrong.

I got up to her door and all I heard was screaming.

_"STOP IT!"_

_"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOUR GOING TO BE MINE!_

_WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"_

_"ELI WONT LET YOU HAVE ME!"  
"FUCK ELI! HE DOESNT DESERVE YOU!"_

I wanted to kill him.

He was hurting her.

I stormed through her front door.

Clare was sittin in the corner,

clothes ripped, and she had a hand print across her face.

She was scared out of her mind.

Aaron turned to me, with a smile on his face..

"Come to watch the show Elijah?"

Oh god I was pissed..

Clare sat there in shock, watching me about kill my brother.

He laid on the floor, trying to catch his breath.

"Go home! NOW!" I screamed.

He got up as best he could and stormed out of her house.

I looked over at Clare, she was crying terribly.

"Clare, what the hell happened? Why was he here?"

"I asked him to come over, so I could tell him nothing was ever going to happen with me and him.

He didnt want that, I told him to leave..but He threw me to the ground."  
"Clare, I'm so sorry." I could feel the tears buildiung in my eyes.

:Eli, why are you crying?"  
"This is all my fault Clare."

"Dont say that, just let it go.."

"I cant just fucking let it go! He hurt you Clare!"

She was so nieve.

This was my fault.

Whether she wanted to believe it or not.

She tried to get up.

"Where are you going?"

"My room, id like to put on un-ripped clothes."  
"Let me help you." I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

After she changed, we sat on her bed.

She laid down and cried for a good hour.

All I could do was hold her.

I was breaking down inside, seeing her hurt like this.

All I remember was crying, and falling asleep next to her.

**ALRIGHTY!**

**this chapter is SHIT! in my opinion..**

**ohh well...i have no idea whats going to happen next..help?**


	23. Reality

**yay! a new chapterrrr XD**

**IM EXCITED!**

**i have no idea where this**

**is going to go, but i do know**

**that drugs will be involved.**

**alot of them..**

**&for those wondering..**

**Clare will EVENTUALLY**

**end up pregnant!**

**i jus gotta firgure out when..**

**Eli's POV**

I woke up to Clare's arm around my waist.

She had streaks down her face from dried tears.

I gently moved her arm, kissed her cheek,

and went downstairs.

Clare was so worn out,

so stressed.

The least I could do was have her

wake up to a nice breakfast.

Im not much of a cook,

so hopefully its good enough.

I put everything on the table,

smirking remembering everything

that had happened in this kitchen.

"Eli, you didnt have to do this." Clare said rubbing her eyes.

"I know, but I wanted to. You've been so stressed lately, so

I figured Id make you breakfast."

"Well thank you, thats very sweet."

We sat down to eat, but Clare barely touched her food.

Something was stll very much wrong.

"Clare, your barely eating. Whats wrong?"

"Nothing, its just..the smell. Its making me sick."

She shoved her plate away, and got up.

I should have cleaned up,

but instead I followed Clare.

She was laying on the couch holding her stomach.

"Clare, theres something really wrong, and im really worried."

"Dont be, its just a stomach ache."

"Bullshit. I dont believe you."

"What the fuck Eli, are you calling me a liar?"

"No, I would never..but i dont know..."  
"Real nice Eli..."

She got up and ran up the stairs.

She slammed her bedroom door in my face.

"Clare, open the door."

"NO! Leave me alone."

"Clare, open the goddamn door."

"Why, so you can yell at me some more,

and tell me im a liar. Forget it."  
"I wasnt calling you a liar, im just worried about you.

Now will you please open the door."

She was sobbing and clung to me.

She burried her head in my chest,

so I couldnt tell what she was trying to say.

"Clare, its okay. Dont cry."

"No Eli, its not. Im in alot of pain."

"What do you mean?"

"I dont know. I keep haveing sharp pains in my stomach."

"What ever it is, we will figure it out."

'I love you so much Eli!"

"I love you too. Just lay down, im going to

clean up my mess in the kitchen."

**Clare's POV**

I knew exactly what was wrong with me.

And this time, it wasnt all in my head.

But I couldnt tell Eli.

He was worried enough as it is.

It was scary though..

And the worst part is..

It could be Eli's..

or it could be Aaron's..

_God Clare, what are you going to do._

_If its Aaron's..Eli wont be able to look at you the same._

But Eli loves me, no matter what right?

He wont judge.

I mean, he went along with it too.

Him and Aaron both.

I heard Eli coming back up the stairs,

so I rolled over in my bed,

looking up at the ceiling.

"You okay, Blue Eyes?" he smiled.

His smile made my day brighter.

"Yeah, Im ok. I have a question.."  
"Shoot.."  
"What if...I asked you..."

He had confusion all over his face..

"..to come cuddle with me...?"

"Well, then I would have to say..."

He ran across the room, and jumped to my side.

Kissing me in the process.

My fingers running through his hair,

and his hands trailing up my sides under my shirt.

I was constantly pulling at his hair,

trying to pull him away, but he never moved.

I couldnt do this. Not now.

But I wanted to.

**Eli's POV**

I knew Clare wanted to stop,

and as hard as I tried to..

i couldnt.

She pulled my hair harder,

which made it so much harder to stop.

I broke away to catch my breath.

"I think, you are wearing way to much my dear."

I smirked at her.

Lifiting her shirt up, she stopped me.

"Eli, we cant. I mean we can..but..."  
"But what? You dont want to?"

'No, no..I do, but.."  
"Then shush, and let me finish..."  
"No, not right now Eli."

"Fine. If you insist we wait."  
"Thank you."

She leaned over and kissed me cheek.

"Im going to take a shower okay." She said getting up.

"Sure, Ill just sit here...maybe go through your stuff..."  
"I dont think so mister!"

"Calm down, I was kidding."

I heard the water turn on, so I layed down.

I was tired. Very tired.

And after about 3 minutes, I was asleep.

**GOOD GOD, THIS CHAPTER WAS BORING!**

**im sorry :/ dnt shoot me..**

**24 will get interesting. i promiseeeee :)**


	24. I'm Not Going Anywhere

**Sorry for the lack of chapters!**

**ive been stuck BAD!**

**&after tonights episode...**

**im really pissed so...**

**i have a feeling its gna show...**

**&i hope to end this within the next 2 or 3 chapters...**

**if i dont...its gna go on for FOREVER! &i dont want that.**

**Clare's POV**

Its been about 2 or so months since I knew for sure.

Eli still had no idea.

He meerly thought I had caught the flu.

God how I wish it was the flu.

I couldnt tell him.

I knew what his reaction would be.

But I always thought what if?

What if he doesnt freak out and leave?

What if he stays by my side?

I had no idea.

But there was only one way to find out.

**Eli's POV**

Clare was getting sicker each day,

so I sat alone most of time.

Waiting for her to call and say she was fine.

I just wanted to hear her voice.

I was getting up to go downstairs

when my phone started ringing.

"Hey Clare, I was just thinking about you."

"Eli, we really need to talk."

"Alright, about what?"

"It's real this time Eli."  
"Clare, whats real?"

"Just, can you come over here, please."

'Uhmm, i guess so.'

What in the hell was she talking about?

What ever it was..

it had happened before...

but it was 'real' this time...?

I drove to her house as quickly as I could,

trying as hard as humanly possible..

to think of what it was.

My mind was blank until I got to her door.

Then it hit me..

_Im pregnant Eli!_

Those 3 words replayed in my head.

Over and over and over.

I knew now that she wasnt making it up.

It was real this time.

I knocked on her door.

It quickly opened, and there stood Clare.

Her eyes blood shot from crying so much.

I quickly, but gently pulled her to me.

It was like a wall broke and she lost it.

"Clare, dont cry."  
"Eli, what am I going to do?

I wont be able to do it alone!

You cant give up on me!"

"Clare, I dont plan on leaving you.

Im not a dick!"

'I know that Eli, but Im just..

I dont know what to do."

Clare needed to know I wasnt going to leave her.

But whatever I told her, she would always think twice about it.

Shes stubborn.

Always has been.

"Clare, look at me."

She looked up, and I wiped her tears away.

"Im not going anywhere."

**UGH! FUCK MY LIFE! **

**THIS STORY IS SHOT TO HELL!**

**ohh well, its gna end soon...**

**sorry for being a crappy writer XD**


	25. NOTE! FAILURE! :

**This story officially sucks! I havent even thought about writing more to it...I dont even know where I would leave it... UGH FUCK MY LIFE! I need to either end ot...or just take it down.. Ive had many other things to do instead of finishing it anyway... I'll try and think of some possible way to end it within the week or so xD **


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